we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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