Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I am naked and annoyed.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
