Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
