I got chris browned last night
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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