My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm like, not good at living.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
