her vagine was all disorganized.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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