I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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