we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
sex in a hospital.. check
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
