just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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