awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
