People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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