She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize