she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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