My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
