I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
