Whod you bang
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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