I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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