I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
