he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
