Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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