Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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