A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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