dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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