He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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