That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
