It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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