Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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