Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He shit in the fireplace
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