thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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