everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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