I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
