I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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