I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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