I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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