remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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