We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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