no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
