Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
