All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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