The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
