you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
