Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
