My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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