Pants 0. Shit 1.
Ketchup is God's man juice
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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