I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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