Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize