I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
