I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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