I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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