i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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