can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
