We're like a lot better than the average bears
I will die if light touches me.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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