he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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