Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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