ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
