glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
