My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
