Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
