and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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